): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
