There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
