it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Mom said you looked used
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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