New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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