sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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