I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
