not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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