sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
