hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize