why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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