I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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