So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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