His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
