shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
