I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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