Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
