Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
