He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
