Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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