; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Randomize
