I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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