Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
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