oh god the rape fog is back!
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize