I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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