i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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