I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I wanna passion pit in your ass
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
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Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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