i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
