Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
