I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
how drunk are you?
Several
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
