I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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