champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
