Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just fucked me for my cheese..
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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