I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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