I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
