I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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