More tranny stories later!
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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