I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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