Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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