I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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