you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
