thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
