TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
