Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
do herpes really smell.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Woke up backwards on a recliner
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
