Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
