every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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