before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
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