I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I don't think brook has ever known best
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
