i already hear my dad disowning me
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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