Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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