do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
