we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
