Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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