ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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