Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
