Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
