He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Randomize
