You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
