How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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