i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
