We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize