How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
So I just went to clothing optional bar
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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